Wednesday, August 09, 2006

You're All Idiots

I have not being having much luck of late. Most recently, my favorite senator has gone down in the Democratic primary. Now, after being overwhelmed by a barrage of anti-Joe propaganda, I am just in a generally surly mood.

Congratulations, Democrats, you have won! Finally, after trying to formulate intelligent positions on a plethora of complex issues you have come to understand the value of partisanship. It didn't have to take this long, but even the brightest students take time to shine. So you are now resolute, just one issue (this eliminates the bothersome issue of having congresspeople only voting with your party a paltry 90% of the time. So where is the room for healthy debate, btw???). Easy to remember for all those over taxed-payers out there. One and only one: oppose the President.

Don't worry Mr. Lamont, even though you have no political experience save filling potholes (re: Sunday's "Meet the Press") your job will be a sinch, only one position to take. We are not interested in seeing legislation go through a bipartisan House and Senate (currently controlled by the GOP, as it happens). We just want to sulk.

Unfortunately, you also forget that 54% of the country doesn't agree with you. So in our wonderful world of majority elections, you are only going to get 46% of the national vote. Which is great, unless you actually want to make sure that women get proper reproductive care in the entire country, and not just in your cushy Greenwich McMansions. Or maybe you democrats will remember that there is a proponderance of greenhouse gases building up in the atmosphere, leading to mass climate destabilazion. You could wait until Thy Kingdom Come and you control the House, Senate and Presidency and then fix Global Warming, or you could do what Joe has done for 18 years and work with people from the other side of the aisle and try and fix the problem. Gathering up your marbles and going home won't help stop the environmental, educational, health care or any other of the problems which you seem to whine about so continuously.

So circulate a memo to the Democrats: don't back Bush. Don't go to tea with Roy Blunt, don't eat scones with Mitt Romney, don't even snort pixy stix with your Republican great-uncle Herb. So long as you stand by the sidelines and cry, you can have a clear conscience and equally vapid agenda.

4 comments:

NoFreeLunch said...

"Gathering up your marbles and going home won't help stop the environmental, educational, health care, or other problems..."
If the Democrats did, yeah it would!!!!
For information on how to really stop the problems, see my new employer.
www.showmeinstitute.org

Zev said...

NFL, You don't actually believe that the Republicans believe in a really free-market either. Bloated transportation bills and farm subsidies are hardly policies Friedman would endorse.

NoFreeLunch said...

You're right, Zev. What we need is a philosopher king.

Jose said...

i enjoy the eloquence of your snark.